This sets the stage for gun legislation.  If Americans can't be trusted to use lawn chairs responsibly how can they ...

Perhaps the security measures are the clearest sign we can get that he truly understands his supporters.  People who would reject the "All American Boy" in favor of the "Un-American Boy" are worrisome.

In the spirit of good security, however, here are some other suggestions and ramifications:

Anyone who has martial arts ability will have to attend in handcuffs and leg irons.  This won't affect Chuck Norris, who is a conservative, and who will no doubt spare himself the misery of seeing Obama coronated, er I mean inaugurated.  He might need to be restrained if he watches it on TV.  I think I might.

Pro team place kickers and punters will have to have their kicking foot tied to a stake in the ground.

Discus throwers will be checked for platters and other dishes that could become projectiles.

If you've ever participated in dart-ball, tennis, badminton, ping-pong, checkers, or any other passtime that requires physical coordination or mental acumen you can't attend.  You have potentially dangerous physical and mental capabilities.  Hell, you might even be able to hold a real job, which would automatically exclude you from the invitation list.

Golfers will have their balls confiscated at the gate as dangerous weapons.  It may not be an issue because possibly few people with balls will get invited.  For example, a lot of Hollywood will be there.

Magicians won't be allowed to bring their pigeons in case the pigeons would have political opinions of their own and decide to express them.

If you've ever hunted, or even fished, stay away.  You're a known killer.  If you eat yogurt you are a known threat to very small creatures.  Some of the creatures at the inauguration will be very small, indeed.

People in the first few rows of seats will be required to wear "Hannibal Lecter" muzzles in case they can't be trusted with their teeth.

People coming to the inauguration will be subject to strip searches for firearms unless they can prove they are from Washington D.C. or Chicago, IL, in which case it will be assumed that they are familiar with firearms because they use them daley, uh I mean daily.  Let's hope it's not too cold for everyone else.

Weight lifters will be barred from the ceremonies due to Obama worries that one of them might heave one of the portable toilets at him.  Everyone attending will be required to pass a weakness test before entering the grounds.  If you can't pick up a portable toilet with 3 other guys, you're in.

Rev. Wright will have to attend with his mouth taped shut.

Bill and Bernadine will have to leave their matches at home.

People with halitosis and a tendency to flatulence will be seated downwind of the dais.  Those who want to sit upwind will have to bring a doctor's note attesting that they have neither condition.  This could be called the “heads you lose, tails you lose” doctrine.

Can you even begin to imagine the security cost when Obama goes to a Muslim capital to make his major foreign policy speech as he has announced he intends to do?  But maybe it won't cost as much as I think.  Perhaps Obama may feel that he can trust foreign Muslims more than he can trust domestic American citizens.  So far, there is at least as much evidence that he is a Muslim as there is that he is an American citizen.  Is he one, the other, neither, both?

Now I understand why Obama feels he needs a National Civilian Police Force that is 4 times the size of our present military, as he announced in a speech in Denver last July.  He needs protection from lethal weapons like lawn chairs, strollers, thermos bottles, ice chests, bicycles, and backpacks.

We can be certain of good weather for inauguration.  Obama is at least an intermediate deity, although Time Magazine ranks him higher than that, and deities are supposed to control such things as weather.  Deities control the economy, too.  Just drop a trillion in the collection plate.  Then, have hope.

Chuckles